When a loved one asks for help, saying no is always tough. It's even harder if you're naturally introverted or shy. Here are some tips to help you think about your response, make a decision, and formulate it in a way that avoids misunderstandings.
1๏ธโฃ Stall for Time:
Don't rush your response; try to buy time to make a decision. Use phrases like:
"I need to think about it."
"Give me a minute to make a decision."
"As soon as I formulate my answer, I'll let you know."
"I'll give you an answer by... (mention a time)."
2๏ธโฃ Diplomatically Say "No":
After weighing the pros and cons, if you've concluded that the answer will be negative, you may struggle not to offend the other person with a flat-out refusal. For example, if a friend asks to borrow your car, and you're not comfortable lending it, but you're hesitant to say a firm "no," use one of the following formulations:
"I'd prefer not to have anyone else drive my car."
"I try not to lend out my car."
"It's important for me to know that I can use my car whenever I need to."
"Unfortunately, I won't be able to lend you my car."
"I feel uncomfortable knowing someone else is driving my car."
"I promised myself I wouldn't lend out my car to anyone."
With such statements, it's difficult to argue. If the person keeps appealing to pity, conscience, or a sense of fairness, persistently repeat your refusals. Eventually, the other person will understand.
3๏ธโฃ Wrap the Negative Answer in Positivity:
Another way to refuse is through sandwich monologues. You start with a positive statement, then delicately but firmly say "no," and conclude with another positive statement:
"I understand you need a car this weekend. Unfortunately, I can't lend you mine. I hope you find a solution."
Remember, it's okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own comfort and well-being.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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On the ground lay the cocoon of a future butterfly...
A person watched for a long time as the butterfly tried to emerge through a small opening in the cocoon.
Much time passed, and it seemed as though the butterfly had given up its efforts, yet the opening remained just as small.
It seemed that the butterfly had done all it could, and that it had no more strength left for anything else.
Then the person decided to help the butterfly, taking a penknife and cutting the cocoon. The butterfly immediately emerged.
But its body was weak and feeble, its wings were transparent and barely moved.
The person continued to watch, thinking that soon the butterfly's wings would unfurl and strengthen, and it would fly away. But nothing happened!
For the rest of its life, the butterfly dragged its weak body and its unspread wings along the ground. It never managed to fly.
The person, wanting to help the butterfly, did not understand that the effort needed to pass through the narrow opening of the cocoon was necessary for the fluid from the body to pass into the wings so the butterfly could fly.
Life forced the butterfly to struggle to leave this shell so that it could grow and develop.
Sometimes, it's the effort that we need in life. If we were allowed to live without encountering difficulties, we would be deprived.
We wouldn't be as strong as we are now. We would never be able to fly.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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To do this, follow three simple steps:
If the topic of your post fits our channel, we will publish it with pleasure. ๐ค
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They express ideas, justify their relevance, but at the same time they do not pressure or defend themselves. They freely and openly exchange information with others, know how to listen, and appreciate the wisdom and advice of others.
Strong people are self-assured; they are aware of their weaknesses. They realize that in some situations, it's better to seek support from more skilled, experienced, or educated friends and colleagues. They believe that asking for help is not shameful.
They notice obstacles on their way but do not dwell on them for too long because they understand that difficulties are a necessary condition for moving forward. They assess the situation considering different possibilities and see perspective in any situation.
They realize that the past cannot be changed. Strong individuals learn from past mistakes and move forward, rather than spending hours regretting and reflecting on what could have been done yesterday or a year ago.
They know that nothing happens by itself, they are ready to work on both their career and relationships. They may be envied, but the envious cannot imagine how much effort is put into projects and how many difficulties are overcome on the way to the goal.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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The shopkeeper stood behind the counter of the store, absentmindedly looking out onto the street. A little girl approached the store and literally stuck to the shop window. When she saw what she was looking for, her eyes lit up with delight...
She entered and asked to see the turquoise beads.
"For my sister. Can you wrap them nicely?" the girl asked.
The owner looked at the little girl skeptically and asked:
"How much money do you have?"
The girl took out a handkerchief from her pocket, unfolded it, and poured a handful of coins onto the counter. Hopefully, she asked:
"Will this be enough?"
There were only a few small coins there. With pride, the girl continued:
"You know, I want to make a gift to my older sister. Ever since our mom died, my sister has been taking care of us, and she doesn't have time for herself. Today is her birthday, and I'm sure she'll be happy to receive such beads; they will perfectly match the color of her eyes."
The man took the beads, walked into the depths of the store, brought a case, put the turquoise inside, wrapped it with a ribbon, and tied a bow.
"Here you go!" he said to the girl. "And carry it carefully!"
The girl ran out and skipped home. As the working day was coming to an end, a young woman stepped over the threshold of the same store. She put a familiar box on the counter in front of the shopkeeper, along with wrapping paper and the untied bow.
"Were these beads bought here? How much did they cost?" she asked.
"Oh," said the store owner, "the cost of any item in my store is always a confidential agreement between me and the customer."
The girl declared:
"But my sister only had a few coins. Real turquoise beads, right? They must be very expensive. We can't afford that."
"She paid the highest price... More than any adult could pay: she gave everything she had."
#Psychology
@Motivation
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๐ Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: A Practical Guide ๐
Identify if You're Fooling Yourself
Suppose you dislike public speaking. Instead of overcoming the fear and recognizing the benefits of engaging with new people, networking with like-minded individuals, and debating opponents, you start making excuses for your phobias. To determine if you're fooling yourself, ask yourself: "Would I like to do what I refuse to do if the situation were absolutely comfortable and stress-free? Would it be enjoyable or beneficial for my career?" If yes, then you're experiencing fear. Once you realize this, you can move forward. Now, you need to identify one or several reasons why you should do what you fear. The benefit of performing uncomfortable actions is an excellent motivator.
Create a Plan
Having recognized your fears, you can take action, but it's better to show wisdom and patience. You risk not getting the desired result if you don't plan changes carefully. Determine what's most challenging in your situation. Then, realize the steps that will lead to your goal. There are different paths to it. For example, to develop your business, it's worth connecting with the right people. Perhaps you're an introvert, and just the thought of a crowded event makes you feel sick. However, besides participating in exhibitions and conferences, there are other ways to meet and communicate with potential partners. For instance, over the phone or over a cup of coffee in a quiet cafe. Instead of being afraid, take control of the situation and adapt it to your characteristics and preferences.
Change doesn't come easy to anyone. Transformation requires time, effort, and determination. But if you create a plan for change and gather the courage to execute all the steps - you will definitely achieve the long-awaited results.
#Psychology
@Motivation
Identify if You're Fooling Yourself
Suppose you dislike public speaking. Instead of overcoming the fear and recognizing the benefits of engaging with new people, networking with like-minded individuals, and debating opponents, you start making excuses for your phobias. To determine if you're fooling yourself, ask yourself: "Would I like to do what I refuse to do if the situation were absolutely comfortable and stress-free? Would it be enjoyable or beneficial for my career?" If yes, then you're experiencing fear. Once you realize this, you can move forward. Now, you need to identify one or several reasons why you should do what you fear. The benefit of performing uncomfortable actions is an excellent motivator.
Create a Plan
Having recognized your fears, you can take action, but it's better to show wisdom and patience. You risk not getting the desired result if you don't plan changes carefully. Determine what's most challenging in your situation. Then, realize the steps that will lead to your goal. There are different paths to it. For example, to develop your business, it's worth connecting with the right people. Perhaps you're an introvert, and just the thought of a crowded event makes you feel sick. However, besides participating in exhibitions and conferences, there are other ways to meet and communicate with potential partners. For instance, over the phone or over a cup of coffee in a quiet cafe. Instead of being afraid, take control of the situation and adapt it to your characteristics and preferences.
Change doesn't come easy to anyone. Transformation requires time, effort, and determination. But if you create a plan for change and gather the courage to execute all the steps - you will definitely achieve the long-awaited results.
#Psychology
@Motivation
Choose what interests you!
๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟEnglish๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ ๐ช๐ธEspaรฑol๐ช๐ธ
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๐ What a world
The student asked the Wise One:
"Teacher, is the world hostile? Or does it bring good to humanity?"
"I will tell you a parable about how the world relates to humans," said the teacher.
"Once upon a time, there lived a great king. He ordered to build a magnificent palace. There were many wonders there. Among other oddities in the palace was a hall where all the walls, ceiling, doors, and even the floor were made of mirrors. The mirrors were extraordinarily clear, and the visitor did not immediately realize that they were mirrors - they reflected objects so accurately. Moreover, the walls of this hall were arranged to create an echo. You ask, 'Who are you?' - and you hear in response from different sides: 'Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?'
๐พ One day, a dog ran into this hall and froze in amazement in the middle - a whole pack of dogs surrounded it from all sides, from above and below. The dog bared its teeth just in case, and all the reflections responded the same. Terrified, it began to bark desperately. The echo repeated its bark.
The dog barked louder and louder. The echo kept up. The dog ran back and forth, biting the air, and its reflection also darted around, snapping its teeth.
The next morning, the servants found the unfortunate dog lifeless surrounded by millions of reflections of dead dogs. There was no one in the hall who could harm it. The dog died fighting its own reflections."
"Now you see," the Wise One concluded, "other people do not bring either good or evil by themselves. Everything happening around us is just a reflection of our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and actions. The world is a big mirror."โจ
#Psychology
@Motivation
The student asked the Wise One:
"Teacher, is the world hostile? Or does it bring good to humanity?"
"I will tell you a parable about how the world relates to humans," said the teacher.
"Once upon a time, there lived a great king. He ordered to build a magnificent palace. There were many wonders there. Among other oddities in the palace was a hall where all the walls, ceiling, doors, and even the floor were made of mirrors. The mirrors were extraordinarily clear, and the visitor did not immediately realize that they were mirrors - they reflected objects so accurately. Moreover, the walls of this hall were arranged to create an echo. You ask, 'Who are you?' - and you hear in response from different sides: 'Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?'
The dog barked louder and louder. The echo kept up. The dog ran back and forth, biting the air, and its reflection also darted around, snapping its teeth.
The next morning, the servants found the unfortunate dog lifeless surrounded by millions of reflections of dead dogs. There was no one in the hall who could harm it. The dog died fighting its own reflections."
"Now you see," the Wise One concluded, "other people do not bring either good or evil by themselves. Everything happening around us is just a reflection of our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and actions. The world is a big mirror."
#Psychology
@Motivation
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In the hustle and bustle of daily life, we forget how important it is to sometimes give ourselves a break and relax. Even if there are only a few minutes for a break, it's worth taking the opportunity to recharge.
-Try a new sport. Yoga, running, tennis, swimming, or even simple exercises you can do at home can help you switch gears.
-Get into plants. Start a mini-garden or have a few flowers in pots, buy a bonsai and take care of it. Communicating with plants has a therapeutic effect.
-Clean something. Not the whole house and not an entire room, but something small: a dusty vase or splashes near the sink. Solving small tasks brings satisfaction.
-Take a walk. Don't reach for your phone, don't get distracted by social media, just look around, and you'll surely see a lot of new and beautiful things.
-Ride a bike. It will not only clear your mind but also allow you to discover pleasant places nearby that you didn't know about.
-Live in the moment. At least for a minute, stop thinking about the past and the future, focus on the present. It's calming.
-Explore emotions. Several times a day, ask yourself: "What am I feeling right now?" Find the precise definition of the emotion.
-Let out anger. Allow yourself to express irritation and anger before they accumulate to a critical point.
-Make a list. Write down what you need to do, who you want to meet, where to go, what books to read, what movies to watch.
-Read a short story. Choose a small piece that tells about different times or takes place in locations you've never been to. It stimulates imagination and boosts creativity.
#Psychology
@Motivation
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Once young Thomas Edison returned home from school and handed his mother a letter from his teacher. His mother read the letter aloud to him, tears in her eyes: "Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him, and there are no teachers here capable of teaching him anything. Please educate him yourself."
Many years after his mother's death (by that time, Edison was already one of the greatest inventors of the century), he was revisiting old family archives and came across this letter. He opened it and read: "Your son is mentally deficient. We cannot continue to educate him in school along with everyone else. Therefore, we recommend that you teach him at home."
Edison wept for several hours. Then he wrote in his diary: "Thomas Alva Edison was a mentally deficient child. Thanks to his heroic mother, he became one of the greatest geniuses of his century."
#Psychology
@Motivation
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