Humour time 😁
The woman's secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
The woman's secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Elementary - Pre-Intermediate level ⭐
http://telegra.ph/The-Pack-of-Biscuits-06-08
http://telegra.ph/The-Pack-of-Biscuits-06-08
Telegraph
The Pack of Biscuits
One night there was a woman at the airport who had to wait for several hours before catching her next flight. While she waited she bought a book and a pack of biscuits to spend the time. She looked for a place to sit and waited. She was deep into her book…
Intermediate – Upper Intermediate level ⭐⭐ (with audio)
http://telegra.ph/The-Blue-Cross-06-08
http://telegra.ph/The-Blue-Cross-06-08
Telegraph
The Blue Cross
The man who got off the boat at Harwich had a short black beard. There was nothing to show that he had a gun in his coat pocket, and nothing to show that he was one of the cleverest men in Europe. He was Valentin, the chief of the Paris police, and the most…
Advanced ⭐⭐⭐ (with audio)
http://telegra.ph/The-Open-Window-06-08
http://telegra.ph/The-Open-Window-06-08
Telegraph
The Open Window
«My aunt will be down presently, Mr. Nuttel,» said a very self-possessed young lady of fifteen; «in the meantime you must try and put up with me.» Framton Nuttel endeavoured to say the correct something which should duly flatter the niece of the moment without…
Poetry for you 🌸
http://telegra.ph/A-Thing-of-Beauty-is-a-Joy-Forever-06-08
http://telegra.ph/A-Thing-of-Beauty-is-a-Joy-Forever-06-08
Telegraph
A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever
A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness; but still will keep A bower quiet for us, and a sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing …
Elementary - Pre-Intermediate level ⭐
http://telegra.ph/Mr-Smiths-New-Nose-06-09
http://telegra.ph/Mr-Smiths-New-Nose-06-09
Telegraph
Mr. Smith’s New Nose
«Well, Mr. Smith, if you prefer a different type of nose, we have a large selection available.» «I think this nose is a bit too small.» «Small noses are very fashionable this year, Mr. Smith, very fashionable.» «Do you think it suits me?» asked Mr. Smith.…
Intermediate – Upper Intermediate level ⭐ ⭐
http://telegra.ph/The-Railway-Crossing-06-09
http://telegra.ph/The-Railway-Crossing-06-09
Telegraph
The Railway Crossing
Dunstan Thwaite looked at the railway crossing and decided that it was time for John Dunn to die. It was a very suitable place for a murder. There were trees all around, and they hid the trains which came so fast along the railway line. The nearest house…
Advanced ⭐ ⭐⭐
http://telegra.ph/A-Dark-Brown-Dog-06-09
http://telegra.ph/A-Dark-Brown-Dog-06-09
Telegraph
A Dark Brown Dog
A child was standing on a street-corner. He leaned with one shoulder against a high board-fence and swayed the other to and fro, the while kicking carelessly at the gravel. Sunshine beat upon the cobbles, and a lazy summer wind raised yellow dust which trailed…
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anonymous poll
Yes – 156
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 90%
No – 17
👍 10%
👥 173 people voted so far.
Elementary - Pre-Intermediate level ⭐
http://telegra.ph/A-Good-Lesson-06-27
http://telegra.ph/A-Good-Lesson-06-27
Telegraph
A Good Lesson
Once a rich Englishwoman called Mrs Johnson decided to have a birthday party. She invited a lot of guests and a singer. The singer was poor, but he had a very good voice. The singer got to Mrs Johnson’s house at exactly six o’clock as he had been asked to…
Intermediate – Upper Intermediate level ⭐ ⭐
http://telegra.ph/The-Picture-06-27
http://telegra.ph/The-Picture-06-27
Telegraph
The Picture
For several years Mr Williams worked for the museum at the University of Oxford, enlarging its already famous collection of drawings and pictures of English country houses and churches. It is hard to imagine anything less alarming than collecting pictures…
Advanced ⭐⭐⭐
http://telegra.ph/Beginners-Luck-06-27
http://telegra.ph/Beginners-Luck-06-27
Telegraph
Beginner’s Luck
James Milner’s hands were shaking as he sat down at his desk. The man sitting at the computer terminal next to him laughed. “First time on one of these machines, is it?” “No!” lied James, as convincingly as he could. “I could use one of these things in my…