Don't mind me, I'm just crying because I just realized the alphabet song for the new Blue's Clues included the asexual pride flag for P as in "P is full of Pride" and I am so happy!
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From the Asexual community on Reddit: Don't mind me, I'm just crying because I just realized the alphabet song for the new Blue's…
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Asexual archetypes, question
I am not ace, I am primarily female attracted and non-binary, but I am currently writing a book that has an asexual main character. I am very aware of the butch, non-binary, and lesbian stereotypes, not that they encompass every individual obviously, but there's something to be said about a room full of single lesbians who just can't find a date, the crayola color haired non-binary person named Rock, or the butch who likes the changes brought on by T but doesn't like the erasure it brings.
This character is based on a mythological being, so there are some traits he already has. He is a cis male, very physically strong so everyone assumes that he will be overly sexual, there's been a lot of pressure on him in his life to be an overly sexual misogynist like most men in his culture. What character traits would make you feel seen and represented? Some could be silly stereotypes, and some hopefully will be deeper traits- like the questions you see weekly here, and those deeper existential questions that keep resurfacing.
Thank you!
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@asexualityonreddit
I am not ace, I am primarily female attracted and non-binary, but I am currently writing a book that has an asexual main character. I am very aware of the butch, non-binary, and lesbian stereotypes, not that they encompass every individual obviously, but there's something to be said about a room full of single lesbians who just can't find a date, the crayola color haired non-binary person named Rock, or the butch who likes the changes brought on by T but doesn't like the erasure it brings.
This character is based on a mythological being, so there are some traits he already has. He is a cis male, very physically strong so everyone assumes that he will be overly sexual, there's been a lot of pressure on him in his life to be an overly sexual misogynist like most men in his culture. What character traits would make you feel seen and represented? Some could be silly stereotypes, and some hopefully will be deeper traits- like the questions you see weekly here, and those deeper existential questions that keep resurfacing.
Thank you!
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@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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My father's reaction on talking about ace people
My father literally said "ace people should just die being ace is useless" when TV was talking about ace people
I am a closeted ace and tbh it made me feel terrible
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My father literally said "ace people should just die being ace is useless" when TV was talking about ace people
I am a closeted ace and tbh it made me feel terrible
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@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the aaaaaaacccccccce community on Reddit
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Is there a dating app for asexual people or discord?
Id like to meet new friends and relationships if it happens organically but cant find any groups..
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@asexualityonreddit
Id like to meet new friends and relationships if it happens organically but cant find any groups..
https://redd.it/1bmyikb
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I hate lust! Sex aversion and bad experience with humanity
Lust to me feels evil. It feels selfish and animalistic . I cannot imagine someone who loves me treating me with lust. When men are aroused and their hearts beat fast and perhaps do these gestures like bite their lips or so.. people find it sexy… I find it scary. I freeze. I cannot imagine myself having sex ever. And if I ever do, some part of me will feel devalued.
I know I would feel very vulnerable afterwards even if it is with a husband. I would need a lot of aftercare and assurance afterwards that they love me and that it is not just lust.
All sex feels like rape to me. Don’t want someone to see me naked. Would make me so self-conscious and vulnerable.
My psychology major influences how I see it too. Lust seems to be a very evil thing. It stems from our survival instinct, which is primarily narcissistic and could sacrifice anyone for the sake of survival. Sex is driven by our primitive need to survive. Most physiological desires or needs are driven by this survival instinct. Survival instinct makes a creature survive. But it is also very barbaric. What I hate about sex it is that it uncovers this barbaric nature in us for a glimpse. I am not sure I would believe my partner is altruistic after I see the lust in his eyes.
Another thing is that I do not like the act itself because there is some party being somewhat dominated.
I don’t know how to unpack these emotions.
My sexuality is fluid. I might be on the asexual spectrum.
Much of my feelings are a result of negative experiences throughout my life (I am 21 f)
Harassment and coercion from males. Grooming as a child/adult. Abuse. Shame about sex. Attachment issues and mental health issues.
I wish I could enjoy an experience I do not have to shy away from.
I want to one day have a partner who I can make love to without panicking or dissociating… or feeling bad afterwards …
https://redd.it/1bmztz3
@asexualityonreddit
Lust to me feels evil. It feels selfish and animalistic . I cannot imagine someone who loves me treating me with lust. When men are aroused and their hearts beat fast and perhaps do these gestures like bite their lips or so.. people find it sexy… I find it scary. I freeze. I cannot imagine myself having sex ever. And if I ever do, some part of me will feel devalued.
I know I would feel very vulnerable afterwards even if it is with a husband. I would need a lot of aftercare and assurance afterwards that they love me and that it is not just lust.
All sex feels like rape to me. Don’t want someone to see me naked. Would make me so self-conscious and vulnerable.
My psychology major influences how I see it too. Lust seems to be a very evil thing. It stems from our survival instinct, which is primarily narcissistic and could sacrifice anyone for the sake of survival. Sex is driven by our primitive need to survive. Most physiological desires or needs are driven by this survival instinct. Survival instinct makes a creature survive. But it is also very barbaric. What I hate about sex it is that it uncovers this barbaric nature in us for a glimpse. I am not sure I would believe my partner is altruistic after I see the lust in his eyes.
Another thing is that I do not like the act itself because there is some party being somewhat dominated.
I don’t know how to unpack these emotions.
My sexuality is fluid. I might be on the asexual spectrum.
Much of my feelings are a result of negative experiences throughout my life (I am 21 f)
Harassment and coercion from males. Grooming as a child/adult. Abuse. Shame about sex. Attachment issues and mental health issues.
I wish I could enjoy an experience I do not have to shy away from.
I want to one day have a partner who I can make love to without panicking or dissociating… or feeling bad afterwards …
https://redd.it/1bmztz3
@asexualityonreddit
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I posted this a few days before finding this sub, thought I might as well share it here
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Asexual dating Bisexual
I love my cis boyfriend. But as an ftm demiseuxal that also has a penis phobia due to a traumatic childhood, I wish my boyfriend would take my warnings a bit more seriously. He says that all concerns need to be let go and when we have our first time we just need to let it flow. I had mentioned a few tame suggestions for our first time and he expressed feeling limited. When I tried to open up about my traumas, I was met with little response. I said maybe I’m overthinking since we won’t know until we get there, and he immediately agreed to overthinking. It felt as if he was dismissing my concerns and not validating them like I needed him to. Like yes we need to be able to relax and not overthink when we meet irl for the first time in a couple weeks for my birthday (slight long distance.) But at the same time I need him to understand that if I have a mental breakdown and we have to stop that we HAVE TO STOP. And that doesn’t mean it’s because of him, it’s because of trauma. And I cannot control that. It doesn’t help he also has a lot more experience with intimacy than I do (I have only ever done it with one other person.) Like, what do I even say to him? How do I address this with him in a way that he understands why I’m emphasizing it so much? It feels like every time I do say something he feels upset with himself for his high libido. Or that the communication turns into a discussion on compromising boundaries or someone getting upset and saying “it’s fine let’s drop it.”
https://redd.it/1bn1q9t
@asexualityonreddit
I love my cis boyfriend. But as an ftm demiseuxal that also has a penis phobia due to a traumatic childhood, I wish my boyfriend would take my warnings a bit more seriously. He says that all concerns need to be let go and when we have our first time we just need to let it flow. I had mentioned a few tame suggestions for our first time and he expressed feeling limited. When I tried to open up about my traumas, I was met with little response. I said maybe I’m overthinking since we won’t know until we get there, and he immediately agreed to overthinking. It felt as if he was dismissing my concerns and not validating them like I needed him to. Like yes we need to be able to relax and not overthink when we meet irl for the first time in a couple weeks for my birthday (slight long distance.) But at the same time I need him to understand that if I have a mental breakdown and we have to stop that we HAVE TO STOP. And that doesn’t mean it’s because of him, it’s because of trauma. And I cannot control that. It doesn’t help he also has a lot more experience with intimacy than I do (I have only ever done it with one other person.) Like, what do I even say to him? How do I address this with him in a way that he understands why I’m emphasizing it so much? It feels like every time I do say something he feels upset with himself for his high libido. Or that the communication turns into a discussion on compromising boundaries or someone getting upset and saying “it’s fine let’s drop it.”
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How many of you DON’T want to be in a relationship of any kind?
Finding partners that share/respect your asexuality or just talking about relationships in general makes sense, since this is the asexuality subreddit rather than the asexual aromantic forum. But I was also wondering, how many of you here desire to be alone or single, and how many don't crave any kind of relationship at all, including queer platonic relationships? Even though it might be more unusual, I just want to find out who else is like this. And what have you experienced so far?
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Finding partners that share/respect your asexuality or just talking about relationships in general makes sense, since this is the asexuality subreddit rather than the asexual aromantic forum. But I was also wondering, how many of you here desire to be alone or single, and how many don't crave any kind of relationship at all, including queer platonic relationships? Even though it might be more unusual, I just want to find out who else is like this. And what have you experienced so far?
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I messed up
I was at work on break and my friend asks me about someone they think is “bad” and starts asking me if I agree and I’m like “I don’t wanna comment because I don’t see people in that type of way” so I told them why and they were like “asexual is when you don’t need two genders to reproduce” why tf are people so dence. So now I just have to hope they don’t tell everyone because people are mean
https://redd.it/1bn7tau
@asexualityonreddit
I was at work on break and my friend asks me about someone they think is “bad” and starts asking me if I agree and I’m like “I don’t wanna comment because I don’t see people in that type of way” so I told them why and they were like “asexual is when you don’t need two genders to reproduce” why tf are people so dence. So now I just have to hope they don’t tell everyone because people are mean
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@asexualityonreddit
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From the Asexual community on Reddit
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