ace-coded
https://redd.it/1q6j01m
@asexualityonreddit

What is your most random Ace-Adjascent (Ace, Aro, Gray...) Headcanon?
https://redd.it/1q89nqw
@asexualityonreddit

Going on a date, need some advice…

Someone I recently worked on a university project with asked me out on a date a little while ago. I (22F) am asexual but not aromantic and I said yes because I thought he was really nice and I had already kinda started to have romantic feelings.

The date is tomorrow afternoon and we are going to get coffee and visit the greenhouse :)🪴

I haven’t been on that many dates since figuring out I’m asexual so I’m not really sure how I should approach/handle the topic with him. Is this the kind of thing that I should definitely share on the first date? When should I tell him? I like him but I also don’t want to lead him on if me being ace ends up being a dealbreaker for him.

Any advice would be really appreciated! Thanks :)

https://redd.it/1q8alf0
@asexualityonreddit

Can I be asexual but still feel love?

I feel intense romantic attraction to people but actually pursuing a relationship ever really appealed to me mostly cuz I couldn't relate to the idea of physical intimacy. Recently met someone at my new workplace. They're so perfect and emotionally compatible it doesn't even feel real.

This person has made me feel safe in a way that just being in their presence feels like coming home. Hugging and kissing makes me feel butterflies. Despite it all, I'm still hesitant about the sex part. I just know this doesn't have anything to do with libido or trauma. I'm fully capable of experiencing arousal from fantasizing about it but I just don't want to do it irl. I feel like my brain doesn't associate sexual intimacy with romantic connection or love. I'd be much more at ease being in a relationship without the expectation of sex.


I've been trying to document all my feelings as I experience them but things keep getting more complicated. Sometimes I feel like I'm overanalysing everything. I'm in love with this person and I don't want to ruin this because of my confused feelings.

https://redd.it/1q8d38c
@asexualityonreddit

"WoMeN aLwAyS wAnT sEx"

Me: "I'm Asexual but still want a relationship"

Most men in my country: "Oh but women are always going to want sex eventually so you know if you can't provide that, they'll leave you..."

I am so SICK of hearing this exact sentence, ON REPEAT by almost every single Allo man in my country. Most recently by "My Dad"

And then "We're just being realistic" Fuck no you're not. Can't you GRASP that since Ace Men like me exist then Ace Women are also a thing, or are you all do BACKWARDS that you think women are these alien creatures who function on fucking... Mysterious magical sex drive that turns on once a month or something and is uncontrollable?????

They're human, we're human, why can't you dumbassess see that life is not just about sex.

Another guy told me "The main thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is sex" THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALLOS... I don't mean all allos but like most Straight, Allo seem like people are sex addicts based on these conclusions. And that would be a FUCKING insane world to live in.

Help me out here ace ladies and gents, because I am so sick of this backwards ass Allo mentality.


Not only is it incredibly backwards, but it's also so FUCKING DEMORALISING that they're essentially saying "You're Asexual so no woman will ever love you" They're not saying it, but that's what I'm hearing. And it HURTS.

https://redd.it/1q8dqf9
@asexualityonreddit

Realising the general public doesn't know what asexuality is

https://redd.it/1q8cukv
@asexualityonreddit

Aro Fest!

https://redd.it/1q8ib8d
@asexualityonreddit

I made a Sensual/Sensorial Spectrum Attraction Flag :D

https://redd.it/1q8f4uf
@asexualityonreddit

I noticed today that this was a better experience on a dating app, so I had to make into a meme.
https://redd.it/1q8klcw
@asexualityonreddit

Discovered something disturbing today

Apparently there is a sub completely dedicated to gate keeping the Asexuality label? And they use my ace hero Todd as their image? I’m sex adverse and have not sexual desire but I hate that there is a whole sub devoted to gatekeeping Asexuality for people with no desire. I knew the ‘attraction not action’ thing was kinda controversial but the existence of a whole sub makes me sad. It feels so immature. We are constantly gate kept from other LGBtQ spaces so you’d think we would do it to ourselves.

https://redd.it/1q8lech
@asexualityonreddit

3am thought
https://redd.it/1q8oanp
@asexualityonreddit

Did anyone else think they were Pan before they realized they were actually Ace?

When I was in Highschool I had initially assumed I was pansexual since, as far as I knew at the time, I considered people of every gender to be on the same level of attractiveness and having a relationship was an active choice.

It was later when I was in college that that consideration wasn't because I was pansexual, but because I was asexual and that romantic attraction and general indifference are two separate things and I have never felt the former.

So I'm curious, who else went from thinking they loved everyone regardless of gender to they don't actually care for anyone regardless of gender? I want to see how common it is for people to end up on the Pansexual to Asexual Pipeline.

https://redd.it/1q8noer
@asexualityonreddit

Daily Ace Hangout – Day 3: Where in the world are we? 🌍💜 ✨
https://redd.it/1q8o8mw
@asexualityonreddit

Tips?

I’m a 16 year old virgin girl who hasn’t even had my first kiss yet. I’ve been wondering if I’m asexual for a few months now and I’m really starting to feel like i am. Is there anyway I could subtlety hint to my parents about behind asexual. I find it hard to talk to them and they aren’t really…educated on sexual orientation. I’ve tried to tell my mom I didn’t think I was attracted to people sexually and that I felt different than all of my other classmates when they talk about sex, their experiences, and who they want to have sex with.

So could someone tell me subtle ways to hint to them that I could be ace without them lecturing me about how I’m “just scared” and “I need to just be more outgoing”? Thank u!! 💖

https://redd.it/1q8t3ag
@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone else like to play as aroace characters in games?

(I have no idea what tag to use)

I'm not particularly aromantic but I never liked romancing characters in videogames. It's just so boring to do it, and the only thing you really get with doing it is that your favourite bundle of pixels now stays in the same place as you and is 65% less interesting. I can still find the character interesting and maybe cute but yeaaaah it's not really worth it.


(Also making an aroace character in FNV saves space for two perks)

https://redd.it/1q8r7ty
@asexualityonreddit

Gotta be a fellow Ace setting these prices
https://redd.it/1q8q2kg
@asexualityonreddit

The aspec urge to use complex math when explaining something the majority of people inherently understand
https://redd.it/1q8t0w2
@asexualityonreddit

Am I just forcing myself to be asexual?

I used to be like anyone else. I followed what teachers said—men love women, biology, population growth, etc. I tried to find love, but not by "hunting" for the perfect girl or flirting. Not having a crush didn't necessarily mean I wasn't straight; I just didn't find anyone attractive.

The moment I discovered asexuality and aromanticism, my lifestyle completely changed. I stopped masturbating and watching porn. I stopped searching for that "perfect girl" and stopped engaging in sexual humor with my friends. It’s been a year, but sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to cope or hide under a shell. That feeling is annoying.

Every time I question myself, I doubt if I was even asexual in the first place. I changed my labels last week from demiromantic-cupioromantic to nebularomantic... for asexual labels, actually, my old list of labels is too long, so let’s just say I’ve simplified it to greysexual.

I don’t want to be a "loser" and go back to being a "coomer." I barely feel sexual desire for fictional characters, let alone real humans—but also, "no" at the same time. I’ve started liking a girl in my class. She’s nice; she even drew a cute cat for me when I asked. I don’t want to tell her yet because of that "aromantic urge" to stay unattached. I feel like saying, "I like your personality, can we be friends?" would just result in a confused look.

Should I stop all of this? It’s been stressful and tiring to constantly remind myself that sex "isn't my cup of tea."

https://redd.it/1q90hu5
@asexualityonreddit

Was I wrong in this interaction?
https://redd.it/1q91fqi
@asexualityonreddit

I suddenly realised what ”hot/sexy” meant yesterday and I’m 29 years old

I’ve always thought that ”hot/sexy” were just other words for aesthetic attraction (like having a subjectively pretty face and pretty clothes) and I didn’t realise that it meant ”wanting to do it” just by looking at someone.
I thought people were exaggerating (or pretending to impress others)!
I got shocked that this is an actual thing that people do, looking and fantasising about others, even about strangers that they don’t even know?!
They just have bodies…

https://redd.it/1q9297q
@asexualityonreddit