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*I do not want to take care of a man*

I (30 F) am currently single, but have been dating a guy (30 M) for a few months. I like him a lot, and I think that we're really compatible. There are lots and lots of pros, but one huge con that I just can't shake is that I truly think, if left to his own devices, he would let me do everything domestic. Of course, I don't live with him yet, but in just the few months we've been dating, I've realized that I truly I think he would let me do everything. He has cooked for me in the past, but it's usually just a few things that he can throw on the grill. There's no real prep or clean-up, which is fine with me, but last night, I made a beautiful meal and he just... sat there. He didn't offer to help, he didn't offer to help clean up, he didn't even help me find things (I was cooking at his place, btw) I needed like knives and cutting boards. He did lay the table, which was nice, but then went and sat right down. I had to call him over to get him to serve himself, because otherwise he would have let me wait on him, and that wasn't fucking happening. This is a fully grown man, in HIS house, letting me serve him. He's also not particularly clean, but he makes good money so he has a cleaner come in and clean his place. But I've never used a toilet after the man without accidentally stepping in piss. Before bed last night, he wanted to just leave everything in the kitchen and "deal with it in the morning" despite the fact that there was food left out that needed to be put away. It seems like such a waste out of nothing but sheer laziness. I ended up putting everything in Tupperware and putting it in the fridge. His brother and his wife are going to eat the leftovers, which, if not for me, would have poisoned them because they would have sat out at room temperature all night. I've dated all types of men in my life. I've been with men whose houses were cleaner than mine, who had super high standards of cleanliness. But the thing is that, despite how clean these men were on their own, as soon as I moved in or as soon as they got comfortable enough with me, they just stopped doing it. They still expected the same level of cleanliness, but they expected me to do it, despite the fact that I worked the same hours they did, or sometimes even more. I just don't understand it. Is there some kind of switch in men who date women? Do they think that women LOVE to cook and clean so much that we enjoy doing it for everyone? Or do they think that we just want a clean house so badly that we'll eventually give in and just do everything ourselves? I really want a partner, but not at the expense of my free time, sanity and clean living environment. I don't understand — SO many women complain that these men just don't do anything to clean up after themselves, and I don't want to be put in that situation of resenting my partner because he sees me as some kind of live-in bangmaid. How hard is it to sit down to pee? Or wipe up the dribbles off the floor when you're done? How hard is it to put leftovers in the fridge? I am just afraid that me liking men means that I'm resigned to acting like a grown man's mother OR staying single for life. At this rate, the latter is looking like the more enjoyable option. submitted by /u/diet_coke_cabal to r/TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
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r/TwoXChromosomes - I do not want to take care of a man

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