Upper Intermediate
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#6_Minute_English
Why do men want to be fathers?
Upper Intermediate
#6_Minute_English Why do men want to be fathers?
Vocabulary

admit to something
say something is true, even if it might make you look a little bit bad

to be keen on something
to be very interested in and enthusiastic about something

going along with something
agreeing to do something even though you don't really want to do it

an absent father
a father who is not at home to spend time with his children

disciplinarians
people who have strict rules and they give out punishments when these rules aren't followed

to be hands-on
to be very much involved in something
Upper Intermediate
#6_Minute_English Why do men want to be fathers?
Transcript

Note: This is not a word for word transcript

Catherine
Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English, I'm Catherine.

Neil
And I'm Neil.

Catherine
Now, Neil, you're a dad, aren't you?

Neil
I am a dad. How did you know? Is it the grey hair in my beard? Is it the wrinkles around the eyes?

Catherine
I thought that was just your age.

Neil
Well, yes, maybe.In today's programme we're going to be talking about fathers and how being a father has changed over the years. But before we hear more about this topic, our question for the day. According to recent research in the UK, what percentage of men are present when their children are born? Is it…
a) 55%
b) 75%
c) 95%
What do you think?

Catherine
I think a lot of men these days like to see their children born. It's not culturally inappropriate so I'm going to go for 95%.

Neil
Well, we'll find out if you're right at the end of the programme. Now, Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist. She studies, among other things, how human behaviour has changed and is changing. She's written a book called The Life of Dad. She's been studying new fathers and spoke about her research on the BBC's Woman's Hour programme. She asked why men want to become fathers. She starts by saying that there are lots of reasons but how many does she mention in her answer?

Dr Anna Machin
There's lots of different reasons why men want to be fathers ... for some of them it's just a stage in life they've reached. They've got the house, they've got the job, now it's time to have a family. Sometimes they admit that actually they're not that keen, but their partner wants a baby, so they're kinda going along with it. And a reasonable number actually say they do it because they want to undo what their father did to them, so rewrite history in relation to fathers and the experience of fathering, to be a better father than their father was.

Neil
How many reasons does she mention?

Catherine
She mentioned three reasons. The first was that it was that time in life – the guys had a home and a job and having children was the thing to do next.

Neil
Another reason was that it was what their partners wanted, even if they weren't that keen themselves. If you're not keen on something it means you are 'not enthusiastic about it', it's not really something you want to do, but because it's what their partner wants they agree to it, or as Dr Machin said, they're going along with it.

Catherine
Yes, going along with something, is a phrase that means 'agreeing to do' something even though you don't really want to do it. It's interesting that Dr Machin said that some men admit to this. To admit to something is to 'say or agree that something is true even if you're perhaps ashamed of it or you don't want it to be true'.

Neil
There was one more reason she mentioned and that was that some men become parents because they want to be a better father than their own father had been. Let’s listen again.

Dr Anna Machin
There's lots of different reasons why men want to be fathers ... for some of them it's just a stage in life they've reached. They've got the house, they've got the job, now it's time to have a family. Sometimes they admit that actually they're not that keen, but their partner wants a baby, so they're kinda going along with it. And a reasonable number actually say they do it because they want to undo what their father did to them, so rewrite history in relation to fathers and the experience of fathering, to be a better father than their father was.

Neil
So what is it about some father's own dads that they didn't like? Here's Dr Machin again.

Dr Anna Machin
Well, in some cases, you know, the father would be neglectful, some fathers were absent and others they just felt they were a very, I suppose, we'd say a 1950s father so distant, disciplinarian not actually involved in their children's daily life and certainly not involved in their care. So today's generation fathers, even in the 10 years that I've been studying dads we've seen a massive evolution in how hands-on fathers are.
Upper Intermediate
#6_Minute_English Why do men want to be fathers?
Neil
She talks there about some negative characteristics associated with dads in the past. She suggests that some fathers didn't have a very close relationship with their sons, they were absent which means they weren't at home a lot and 'didn't spend time' with their children.

Catherine
Yes, and some fathers were seen as a disciplinarian. That describes someone whose main communication with their children was to give them strict rules and tell them off or punish them if they did something wrong.

Neil
These days, according to Dr Machin, fathers are much more hands-on. This phrase means they are 'much more involved' with their children and share bringing up their children with their partners.

Catherine
And talking of sharing, Neil, come on – it's time to know the answer to today's question.

Neil
Yes, indeed. According to recent research in the UK, what is the percentage of fathers who are there when their children are born? Was it 55%, 75% or 95%?

Catherine
And I said a very optimistic 95%.

Neil
Being optimistic is good obviously because you are correct.

Catherine
That's fantastic!

Neil
And now, for something else fantastic, our review of today's vocabulary…

Catherine
We started off with admit to for when you say something is true, even if it might make you look a little bit bad. And before we go on I have to admit, Neil, that it was me who ate your biscuit.

Neil
Which one?

Catherine
The one that you left on the desk.

Neil
That's all right. I wasn't really keen on it anyway. It had been on the floor.

Catherine
What? Yuck!

Neil
Yeah, well, it serves you right! And to be keen on something is our next phrase, meaning 'being very interested in and enthusiastic about' something.

Catherine
Then we had to go along with something. This is when you agree to do something even if you are not keen on it.

Neil
An absent father is one who is not at home to spend time with his children.

Catherine
And some fathers are disciplinarians. They 'have strict rules and they give out punishments' but these days more fathers are hands-on which means they are 'very much involved' in looking after and bringing up their children.

Neil
Well, that's all we have time for today. Join us again next time and remember you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and of course our website bbclearningenglish.com. See you soon. Goodbye!

Catherine
Bye!
#HBR
Do You Retain Enough of What You Read?


We’re consuming more information than ever before — but retaining all that knowledge is another story. If you find yourself struggling to use what you read (or even just remember it), you probably aren’t learning productively. To be a more efficient learner, try three things. First, focus your reading on a single topic for several months. The deeper you go into a subject, the stronger a foundation you’ll have for learning about it in the future. Second, regularly synthesize what you have learned. When you finish reading something, ask yourself, “What are the key takeaways here?” If you can’t explain an idea to yourself, you probably didn’t learn it very well. And third, take occasional breaks from consuming new information. Reflecting on what you’ve read in the past is an important part of processing it — and constantly taking in new information can interfere with that. Give yourself time to review, consider, and apply what you’ve already read.
#Jokes
An immigrant ran up to me and asked, "What is time?"

"To gain more understanding of the subject, you should read Stephen Hawking's books," I replied.
#Jokes
I have an amazing ability to find things just before people lose them.

The police, however, insist on calling it theft.
#Jokes
I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...

I really need to wash some mugs.
#Jokes
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.
#Jokes
Did you know that you can murder someone with socks?

It's true. It doesn't matter what they're wearing.
#Jokes
A Monk begins his training. Every ten years he’s allowed to break his vow of silence.

“Only two words can be spoken so he must choose wisely”. Said the older Monk.

After ten years he chose his two words:
“Food bad” He spat.

After twenty years had passed, he had chosen his words carefully:
“Bed hard” He grumbled.

Then thirty years passed:
“I quit” He said.

The old Monk replied:
“Good, you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here”.
#HBR
We All Say “Um,” “Like,” and “You Know” Too Much. Here’s How to Stop.

Like most people, you probably lean on filler words while speaking, such as “um,” “ah,” or “you know.” But these verbal crutches diminish your credibility and distract from your message. To drop them from your speech, replace them with pauses. Start by identifying the filler words you use too often, and then pair them with an action. For example, every time you catch yourself saying “like,” tap your leg. This word-action pairing will help you be more aware of how you speak. Next, replace the filler words with a silent pause. This is the hard part, and practice is key. As you notice a filler word escaping your lips, don’t say it — just stay quiet for a moment. If you still find yourself struggling, try recording yourself while you talk about your day. Practice using pauses instead of filler words as you recall the day’s events. Over time, you’ll build a habit of not using filler words at all.
#Jokes
I shouted to the barmaid, "Two pints of lager please."

She said, "I'm not deaf."

I said, "Sorry, I noticed your wedding ring and the black eye. I presumed you had a problem listening."
#Miscellaneous
Note the words below.

Initially, you will have difficulty reading them. However, gradually your brain will interpret the words correctly. Please give a chance for these words to speak to your brain.

Here we go!

7H15 M3554G3

53RV35 7O PR0V3

H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N

D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!

1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!

1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG

17 WA5 H4RD BU7

N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3

Y0UR M1ND 1S

R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY

W17H0U7 3V3N

7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,

B3 PROUD! 0NLY

C3R741N P30PL3 C4N

R3AD 7H15!

PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F

U C4N R34D 7H15

This is a very good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this, your mind is still young and has no Parkinson Congrats!


From Dr Justin Jones in Melbourne:

This is a REAL Neurological screening Test
Upper Intermediate
Rise and shine - Athlete and running ultimate motivation.mp4
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#Jokes
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#book_extracts
“There’s a saying in Texas: “The smallest dog barks the loudest.”
A confident man doesn’t feel a need to prove that he’s confident. A rich woman doesn’t feel a need to convince anybody that she’s rich. Either you are or you are not. And if you’re dreaming of something all the time, then you’re reinforcing the same unconscious reality over and over: that you are not that.”

Excerpt From
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
#book_extracts

“The ticket to emotional health, like that to physical health, comes from eating your veggies—that is, accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: truths such as “Your actions actually don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things” and “The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s okay.” This vegetable course will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it.
But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, that constant pressure to be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of always feeling inadequate and constantly needing to prove yourself will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations.”

Excerpt From
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
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