Upper Intermediate
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#The_English_We_Speak

Do you have a false friend? In The English We Speak we get to hear how one of Feifei's best friends isn't a friend at all and discover that there's a great word to describe them.

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#Jokes

News: Japanese princess to give up royal status so she can marry a commoner.

I'm pretty sure she'll bring that up every time she has a row with her husband.
#Jokes

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.
#Jokes

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle. But the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
#Jokes

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art." 😜😜
#Jokes

Why did god create man before he created woman?

Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
#Announcement

Hi again everyone!

Hope you're all doing well.

Thank you for sticking around while I was busy fighting the aliens who wanted to invade our planet. Thanks to my troops' effort now we are all safe and you need to fear nothing.
Now that things are back to normal, I am going to resume posting things on the channel to make up for my long absence.
Hope you like the things I post and if you have any ideas or comments on how things should improve on the channel, please do not hesitate to write to me @TalebSedaghat .

Good luck to you all
#Lingohack

Today's Headlines:

London to build super-sewer

Harry Potter fans do yoga with a magical twist

Pets in the office? Some UK firms welcome them

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Upper Intermediate
#Lingohack https://tttttt.me/UI_EnglishLessons
Words and phrases and definitions:

tunnelling
used for digging passages through the ground

put a spin on
present something in a particular way

camaraderie
a feeling of friendship towards someone
Upper Intermediate
#6_minute_English https://tttttt.me/UI_EnglishLessons
Vocabulary

as sick as a dog
very sick

paws
the feet of certain animals which have pads and claws

biosensor
a sensor which uses a living thing to detect chemicals

to screen
to examine something for its suitability

deterrent
a thing which stops a person from doing something

orthodoxy
a generally accepted way of doing things
#Jokes

A psychiatrist finds a man lying by the road who has been robbed and beaten senseless.

The psychiatrist says, "My god, whoever did this needs help!"