#Jokes
Instead of being cremated or buried when I die, I'd much rather my body to be cut into pieces and then sent to people I don't like.

#Jokes
After years of research and studies NASA has found that the distance from sun to earth is equal to the distance from earth to sun. 😜

#Jokes
I hate people who take drugs, airport security for example.

#Jokes
I said to a woman at work, "Are you doing anything this weekend?"

"No," she smiled.

"Good," I said, "get some rest, you look very tired."

#Jokes
International climate talks in Berlin finished today with 185 countries reaching a major agreement to cut greenhouse gas emissions.

Then they all drove to the airport in 185 cars.

#Jokes
They say to never go shopping for food when you’re hungry but it’s been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.

#Jokes
When i was younger i once beat up the school bully with a baseball bat. Both his arms were completely broken.

That is what gave me the courage to do it.

#Jokes
I wonder what happened to those people who asked me for directions!

#Jokes
If you're going to argue publicly on a cellphone, be fair and turn the speakerphone on so everyone can hear both sides.

#Jokes
American kids are really looking forward to the summer holidays
No more studying or getting shot at until the Autumn.
😜