AKATHIST to our Sweetest Lord Jesus Christ
Kontakion 1
Warrior-Chieftain and Lord, Vanquisher of hell, I Thy creature and servant offer Thee songs of praise, for Thou hast delivered me from eternal death. But as Thou hast unutterable loving-kindness, free me from every danger, as I cry: Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me.

These mother fuckers are in their fifties. They look like they're about to revolutionize the E Scooter industry. LinkedIn Park looking ass.

POV: You just landed the job of your dreams

What are you up to, budy archive?

Two mages - a Delusionist and a Negromancer - just finished fighting off a group of bandits who were raiding a local village. The Negromancer managed to drive them off with the help of two of his favorite summons - 「Voodoo Child」and 「Basketball Jones」. "Well done, my good and faithful servants." The Negromancer congratulated his summoned companions before rewinding the hip hop tape in the magic boombox he uses to summon them, and his summoned negroes dissipated into Kool-aid powder until it was time for them to come out once more.

"That's unacceptable!" shouted a voice from the village. It was Karen, a local tubby white woman.
"Sure it is," replied the Delusionist.
"Seriously?! He's using black people like Pokémon!"
"Yes, and they enjoy it." The Delusionist's eyes began to glow with arcane force as he spoke. "They're very happy."
"Happy?!" Karen scoffed. "They're enslaved!"
"Just as nature intended." The glow in the Delusionist's eyes intensified.
"You're horrible! How can you be okay with this?"
"But so are you," the Delusionist declared. "You told me yourself."
As Karen continued to get herself worked up, she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was the Negromancer. "Do not argue with him. He uses magic to convince himself that what he believes to be true, is in fact true."
Karen was taken aback. "How useful could that possibly be?"
"It's the greatest power in the universe," the Delusionist answered as he and the Negromancer left to return to the Mage's Guild.